Woooooo, its Hallooweenie month and y’know what that means. Spooky shit, and what’s more spooky than a shitty anime adaption of an otome game? Trying to profit off a series by making an anime out of it and leaving it in incapable hands is the truest horror one could possibly witness.
Like I promised, even though it’s really late, I’m gonna do episodic reviews for Dynamic Chord: The Anime. It took me a while to find a place to watch it (and is legal) and boy was it abysmal. I might do an overall review for it in the end because its so bad.
Anyway, I want y’all to witness the first episode too. The first episode is free to watch on HIDIVE (only in 480p for free users, it enhances how bad this anime is), so feel free to watch it before reading my thoughts. →Check it Out←
Also, quick heads up. I’ve never played the games so I have no idea who is who and this is all new to me. I might not find enjoyment or get the fanservice, so I might be a little biased here with my ignorance.
The first episode was terrible in terms of first impressions, plot, pacing, characters and everything else in-between. It is almost like the episode was directed by 20 people, where each director decided to quit because they didn’t know what to do with this shit.
It starts off with some loser in his car with the roof down and rain pouring down, and two twinks just gawking at him from their apartment or something. We’re hardly introduced to the characters formally and properly, they say their names maybe once and expect that to stick with you (same problem with Sengoku Blood Night) or not even introduce a character’s name at all. The scene goes nowhere, the conversations are meaningless and hard to concentrate on because its so mundane and thta goes for every scene in this episode.
Then for some reason we see our main twink brigade (which is the first boy band to appear in the first game I think) running around in suits for no apparent reason other than “they’re filming for an ad for some kind of product”, we don’t see the product what so ever so it makes it even more confusing. Hell, I never thought they got bands to do ads, I was always under the impression it was idols who did that thanks to B-Project and Utapri (don’t worry, this anime is exactly going down the same path as those two animes).
Anyway, if you haven’t noticed yet, the animation aren’t that great. Same goes for direction. It’s like they didn’t even storyboard it, they just threw together random ideas they got from throwing darts at a board. None of these scenes really link to each other, other than the red haired dude is bummed or something (and even that’s a weak premise). It gets even worse as the episode goes on, trust me. After watching one episode of this anime I instantly regret all the flack I gave Sengoku Night Blood 😂
I can only think of one reason for this scene and that’s: Fanservice, even if it’s weak it’s still a bit of fanservice of the guys looking cool running and driving cars even though last time I checked they were high school students or something. Also despite HIDIVE tagging this anime as “romance”, there is no heroine(s) whatsoever. No announcement or trailers with the heroines from the original games or anything, so if there’s any romance going on it’s prolly gonna be between the boys (I remember that one boy has a crush on his band member but then it’s kinda retconned in the fandisc so he can have a route 🙄).
After some bullshitting around with the introduction of Mr. Creepy Paparazzi who’s so not gonna cause shit to hit the fan with his photos, no, that’d be a huge cliche, we get our maybe 8 minute intermission of non-stop music with shitty animation.
I call these parts “Music Videos”, Utapri had them and so did B-Project, hell, even Magikyun had them. It’s when all conversation and plot stops and a song starts alongside some animation fitting the lyrics plays. It’s usually to promote the character songs and unit songs that are sold either as the episode airs or has already been released and needs some more ground swell and what better place to advertise a product than within an anime.
However in this episode of Dynamic Chord (and I’m gonna guess in future episodes), the ‘music video’ segments happen without transition, without context and without warning. It just happens. Especially in this episode where it went for god knows how long to pad out the run time of the episode because the writers didn’t know how to fill up the episode with plot so we got this glorious mess of three songs with terrible flash/after effects puppet tool.
Now, people can easily pull this trick off and do it well with short animations and sometimes for advertisements and it’ll always look 100% better than what they tried to attempt in Dynamic Chord. I’ve seen better image manipulation from Inferno Cop than I do from seeing the same cut to a shot of a guy doing the animation over and over again, as well as bad lip syncing when singing songs in Dynamic Chord.
It’s hard to pin down everything bad about the animation in the music videos so I’ll let you decide by watching it right here:
*I have not edited this video in anyway, this is what was aired on TV
If I could make a supercut to every time the shot where the drummer guy looks like he’s beating his meat, it’d just look like a continuous loop of the same animation I swear to god that this shit doesn’t get anymore cheaper than this.
I understand a bit why they would use this technique. By making high resolution pictures of the guys and tweening/using the puppet tool to make them move would make it look like there’s more quality put into it but because it’s so stiff the way they are animated and unnatural it looks it really just falls flat and looks atrocious. But if you take a still image of it you’ll be like “wow, what a nice looking anime”.
You tried, but sadly it wasn’t enough.
Anyway back to emo red haired boy voiced by Showtaro Morikubo™, he’s down in the dumps for whatever reason that is not explained in episode 1 because it’s a shhhhh, secret ;^) don’t want y’all to know his deepest darkest secrets for being angsty. By the looks of how they keep emphasizing the rabbit plushie on his piano I’m gonna guess that he can’t play music anymore because maybe some kid or his baby sister died or some shit and now he’s down in the dumps because that kid loved his music or some shit and it reminds him of that poor innocent kid. I could be 100% wrong, but hey, it could be possible. I don’t know what’s his problem and besides the time he talked on the TV during his concert he has said jack shit in this episode. I guess they gotta save all their budget for hiring Showtaro Morikubo (jk, I don’t think he’s expensive to hire considering he’s almost anywhere near an idol/music anime and/or game).
Other than his lack of presence, that one scene where he’s at the piano in his house(?) reminds me so much of Utapri Season 4 where Eiichi mind fucks Otoya into being an emo boyo (coincidence, I think not).
It’s mainly the fireplace and the dark room is what’s triggering my memories of that awful anime. I guess the people behind this show watched Utapri Season 4 as homework when making this shit show.
Anyway, yadda yadda yadda, our main boy voiced by Takuya Eguchi, who I’m assuming is our protagonist because we always follow him around and he’s kinda oblivious to everything happening so he’s the perfect vessel for us viewers because we don’t know what we’re watching either, has to fill in for the emo guy for some reason (I’ll be saying ‘for some reason’ a lot in these reviews) and after a jam session with both his band and emo man’s band, there’s another music video but this time it’s just a concert 😆 I honestly don’t remember what transitioned between the scenes or whether it was in order, it’s all just a muddy mess of whatever.
Anyway, it looks really bad because of the obvious CGI used for the instruments and for the stage and also over saturation. Don’t forget to reuse those singing animations we just saw minutes ago.
Cliffhanger of the episode is that there’s some article in a gossip magazine or something with rumors about emo guy’s band breaking up. Gee, I wonder who supplied all those photographs to make it look like they’re splitting up. Golly, I just don’t know who…
There was next to no plot at all in this episode except for the big bad paparazzi fanboy man who wants to ruin the reputation of some emo dude and his band. I dunno if the games are this bad, but I sure as hell know that the people behind this anime are incompetent as hell. Honeybee, I hope you’re happy, rolling in your wads of cash that will come in from the DVD sales because we all know fans don’t care if its shit as long as their favorite shit to consume keeps getting made, no matter how shit it is.
It’s hard to keep up with characters and what their names are, hell some characters have similar character designs that it’s kinda hard to tell.
Next time I’ll review both episode 2 and 3 together to catch up, same goes for Sengoku Night Blood. I would like to leave you with a collage of all the off-models in this episode (boy were there a lot), but I think I’ve got something much better to end this post on.
As always, thanks for reading.