Its spring time somewhere in the other hemisphere of the world, love is in the air, y’all know what time it is…. Valentine’s Da–Oh wait I’m 3 months too late lmao. Either way it’d prolly would’ve been still winter during February so I’ve already ruined this intro terribly.
I’ve been meaning to do an “Otome Watch” post on Oniichannel ever since I started the Otome Watch post category, but after doing my first one on Toraware no Palm I found it really hard to keep updating it and keeping up with the news about it that I kinda forgot about it. But I’m still following Oniichannel even just a little bit. But for the sake of this post I’ll do a little introduction.
Oniichannel is a “multi-media” project collaborated by B’s Log and Bushiroad. I was under the impression they’d make a game out of it sooner or later but not much is known about it for now. Right now most of the media is done through their official twitter where they post tweets by the oniichans, hold polls where you can vote a response to an oniichan’s question and they also post pictures drawn by the main character designer. You can view all this here on their twitter account.
They also have articles in every issue of B’s Log where they publish monthly reports on the development of Oniichannel, sometimes publishing interviews and providing highlights of the past month’s tweets and illustrations posted on the twitter account. There’s also two bonus 4komas in SD style (chibi style, whatever y’all call it) which is more for comedy and shenanigens the oniichans get up to.
The premise of Oniichannel is that one day you, the heroine, suddenly got a letter in your mailbox saying “Happy Birthday, I am your big brother. You might be a bit surprised by me saying this but I’ll be waiting for you in front of the Owl Statue at the train station at 12pm tomorrow”. You wonder what’s up with that because you thought you were an only child and think its a prank but you decide to go anyway.
When you meet up you find 5 ikemens (they added 3 more oniichans afterwards) that claim to be your big brother. Out of nowhere one oniichan installs an app on your smartphone that is a call-only app that calls the oniichans called “Oniichannel”. You take it pretty well despite them being strangers and downloading a mysterious app on your phone and accept them as your oniichans and so begins your everyday life with your new found oniichans.
Honestly though, it’d be pretty interesting if these guys turned out to be scammers that do this to every lonely woman that is an only child and claim to be their big bro just to get money off them through the oniichan app. To be honest I’m not sure how all these brothers are related to each other and how they are related to you seems a little far-fetched but I’ll accept it.
One of the latest release of media Oniichannel has provided is the CD Collection. So far there are two volumes: Valentine’s Day themed and White Day themed. The two volumes are split bewteen the 8 oniichans so 4 oniichans for Vday and the rest of the oniichans for White day. This time around I’ll be going through what happens in Vol.1 Valentine’s Day as a belated happy valentine’s day to y’all. I’m terrible at celebrating things on time, I know.
- Haru – “Haru’s Piping Hot ♥ Captivating Curry”
- Ren – “An Unkind Gentleman’s Exquisite Escort”
- Jin – “The First Warmth Mountain ♥”
- Shouma – “The Prince and his Fish Friends”
Click for overall thoughts of the CD if you don’t want spoilers for each track
Haru Oniichan is prolly the OTO (the One True Oniichan), considering he’s kinda like the poster boy. His main dream is to live together with his dear imouto-chan (aka you). So he’s got first dibs on imouto-chan than the rest of the oniichans lol.
Track 1 is dedicated to Haru’s vday with imouto-chan, the track title could be loosely translated as “Haru’s Piping Hot ♥ Captivating Curry”… or something like that.
You visit Haru at his place for Valentine’s, you give him handmade Valentine’s chocolates which makes him super happy that his imouto-chan would make such a thing for him. He only takes one bite saying that if he ate it all at once it’d be kinda a waste not to enjoy it and kinda creepily saves it for later. I dunno why but despite him being a cute soft spoken oniichan, the way he’s treating his imouto is kinda a bit yandere… I mean, his dream is to live together with her, just the two of them and no one else, plus he wants to save and cherish the choco she gave to him… then again maybe I’m just reading too into things lol.
Haru wants to return the favor on White Day but seeing that you don’t want anything he decides to just cook her some curry to say thanks. They go to the supermarket to get ingredients and during the first time I was listening to this track I was kinda hungry so when he asked “Which meat would you like? Beef or chicken?” and I was like, in my head, either one bc I’m so hungry lol and it turns out it was the same answer the heroine ‘gives’ to Haru (of course there is no voiced heroine in these CDs, it’s kinda like Dora the Explorer where there’s a pause after a question and Haru just says your answer in response lol). Haru also gives a little run down on what ingredients are good for certain curries which is actually quite informative, what a nice oniichan. Though in Haru’s signature curry (which he calls “haru curry”) he has a special ingredient… but according to him whatever it is, is a secret ;^) [BOY WHAT ARE YOU PUTTING IN MY CURRY?] Tho I’m gonna guess it’s prolly the special ingredient is love…. hopefully it is.
On their trip back home, Haru decides to buy an apron for you bc he doesn’t want your cute clothes to get dirty when cooking up a storm. He ends up buying matching aprons for both him and you as well as something else that he keeps a secret (it’ll be revealed later). The cashier comments about him and you being “intimate newlyweds” which he agrees with and didn’t even bother correcting the cashier that they’re supposed to be siblings, in fact he was really happy about it and that’s when it hit me…….. are these guys even really blood related? I don’t know how they’re siblings bc they don’t really explain or maybe I missed the memo but what the hell lol. It’d be cute without the oniichan thing going on but with it as the premise it just makes me question it really hard (tho I still love my Jin Oniichan lmao).
Back at home, y’all are making some curry until you burnt your hand which makes Haru worry and even though putting your hand in cold water he still does the most weirdest thing… he licks the spot you burnt yourself without even thinking, he just did it subconsciously which also freaks him out a bit when he realises lmao. He also muses at the thought that if you don’t become someone’s bride then it’d be nice if you and him lived together forever… Yeah definitely a closeted yandere, or at least a yandere in the making. During dinner you get some food stains on your face bc I dunno I guess you’re a sloppy eater and Haru cutely cleans it up for you and ngl he has this “mother” feeling to him. He’s really gentle and has a sweet voice so I guess that’s where the mother aspect comes from lol. You kinda comment on how siblings shouldn’t act like this but he’s like “We’re siblings that are so close we’re like newlyweds, there’s nothing wrong about that”… boyo, run that back again and listen to what you are saying omg 😆 . He wishes out loud that he wishes they could live together sooner so he can make you other meals and because it’s getting late he decides you should stay over and luckily for you, when he was buying the aprons he also bought PJs just for you. So y’all are gonna have a pajama party… just the two of you, if y’know what I mean… wink, wink.
Ren is the cold oniichan that is also a doctor. Now when I mean cold, he’s like ice cold. He doesn’t have a lot of those rare moments where he is caught off guard and loses composure, he’s stone cold and likes to throw insults and complaints with whatever you do. He kinda does have a sweet spot for cats, I think.
Track 2 is dedicated just for him, the title of the track can be loosely translated to “An unkind gentleman’s exquisite escort”.
You stop over to Ren oniichan’s place for Valentine’s but it seems you have woken him up and he is not impressed. He tells you to put the chocolates over somewhere (I’d like to think he gestured to the rubbish bin) but considering it’s chocolates homemade by you he decides to let you in. You crash on his sofa and he gets even more pissed and kinda lectures you about how he didn’t tell you to make yourself at home and that he’s not gonna get you something to drink, get it yourself etc… Man this guy is a riot 😆 He throws insults left and right whenever he pleases which is a nice change compared to Haru’s kindness.
You give him the chocos, assuring him that it’s not sweet bc he hates sweets and then he throws another insult by going “Why don’t you make chocolates for your boyfriend? Oh right, you don’t have one so you could only think of making one for your big brother”. Ouch. You really hit it where it hurts, Ren. He refuses to return the favor on White Day, which imouto-chan was hoping he would, but instead decides to take imouto-chan out to a fancy restaurant. Srsly bro, you are returning the favor just by doing this lol. He’s telling himself he’s doing this out of pity for his imouto that has no date and to teach you what an “adult date” is like. I see now 😏
He takes you to a brand clothes shop to get a dress for the restaurant bc he doesn’t want you to show up with your hobo clothes to somewhere fancy or you’ll be kicked out. He chooses the clothes for you bc he doubts your sense of fashion lmao. You’re surprised that he got the size of your clothes/shoes which is bc of his habit seeing that he’s a doctor he can prolly guess your size and will know if you gained weight… this guy better not be setting this up for a future insult. He also gives you advice that “When a guy spends money on you to buy clothes for you, there’s a chance he’s thinking about taking/stripping those clothes off of you later”, aka, obviously y’all are gonna bang later… tho hopefully not bc I’m confused about this whole relationship.
At the restaurant, Ren talks about how he loves the wine at this restaurant (forgot to mention he loves his wine, gotta drink the pain away) and insults you again for prolly being underage to drink alcohol so you’ve got your little grape juice box to sip on (you’re not actually drinking out of a juice box I just felt it would elevate the insult of you drinking grape juice). Anyway if you haven’t noticed yet, Ren Oniichan is pretty loaded prolly because he’s a doctor, and just like any rich boy he’s gonna look down on you for having terrible table manners so he’s gonna show you how it’s done. But because you are clumsy you manage to knock over some glass or something (I’m guessing you fell over) possibly injuring yourself and getting carried princess style by Ren, to his dismay.
On the way home and inside the car, Ren pulls over to inspect your heels to see that yeah, heels and most shoes fucking hurt your feet and he scolds you for not telling him while he takes care of your hurt feets. Don’t worry, he’s a doctor. You ask about the dress which is now dirty from when you fell and he’s like just send it to the dry cleaners and still insists that the dress isn’t a thank you gift for the choco but something that was needed for them to go to the restaurant. He decides now is prolly the right time to smooch maybe and tells you to close your eyes so he can lay a big fat one on your lips….. just kidding, he flicks your forehead and taunts you for thinking he’d kiss you (tho would he, I mean, y’all are supposed to be siblings lmao). He then says its a shame that your dress is now dirty, so he’ll buy you a new one and promises to “help dress you” because the night is still young, if y’know what I mean ;^) Damn, I should stop ending my summaries for the oniichan tracks like this.
Jin Oniichan is one my favorite oniichans. He was overseas at the battlefront (because he’s a military guy) and upon hearing that he has an imouto in Japan he dropped everything to be by her side. He’s a quiet guy, seems like he’s slightly not accustomed to Japan at times and lives with Shouma.
Track 3 is dedicated to him, if I were to loosely translate it it’d be “The First Warmth Mountain ♥”…. or as I dub it “Brokeback Oniichan Mountain”.
Jin receives his Valentine’s chocolate and thinks it’s just a random gift for him and was like “I’ll share this with Shouma”, so you have to explain it to him that it’s Valentine’s Day and the way ppl in Japan celebrate it. He decides to take you to the mountains on the weekend as a thank you date (again, are we even siblings lmao), there was something he wanted to show you in the mountains but he was worried whether he’s wrong about selecting this as a date so he was happy to hear that you appreciate him taking you there.
You get a bit pooped from hiking up the mountain, but bc Jin is fitter than you and has gotten accustomed to climbing this mountain he’s not tired at all in fact he offers to carry your stuff (and maybe even you). The reason why he wants you to come to mountains is to see the starry night sky, he says he was very moved when first seeing the night sky full of stars so he wants you to feel the same thing. You wonder off to see the fish in the nearby river while Jin warns you about how its cold and to not go too close to the river bc you might fall and you know what…. you do fall into the river. But the way it played out it didn’t sound like you slipped it just sounded like you jumped into the river while Jin was lecturing you lol. Jin comes to you worried/almost panicked but calms down seeing that you’re ok but you’re drench as hell so he lends you his jacket like a proper gentleman.
You go to the tent to get away from the cold but later Jin enters still a bit worried that you’ll catch a cold with your still wet clothes that he asks you to strip. Despite your protests, Jin explains in full detail how its not good for you to keep your wet clothes on bc night is coming and shit gets cold fast, but of course he’s a bit too dense to realise you don’t want to strip in front of him bc thats hazukashii. Jin eventually gets the message but is like “Here I thought there was nothing embarrassing when it came to being siblings”, boyo….. who even undresses near the siblings. He asks you again to strip while he’s outside of the tent, tho he emphasizes to take everything off even underwear and I’m wonder how are you gonna cover up if you’re gonna be almost butt naked (except for his jacket which you still got on so it better be a long ass jacket).
To warm you up even more he gets your almost naked ass in front of the camp fire along with your wet clothes to get warm, but this ain’t enough to keep you warm so he invites you to sit in front of him so you’ll be warmed up by the fire at the front while he heats you up from the back 😉 . Jin keeps asking why you getting all embarrassed bc y’all are siblings (Jin I love you but pls take a hint), thankfully you spell it out for him and he gets so shook going “Oh… right… above all, we are members of the opposite sex…. right…. Um, sorry about that. I didn’t really think about that in depth” and he gets all flustered aw. But still boyo! Sibling or not, ya don’t do this to an almost naked lady.
He then remarks that he’s kinda glad that he’s the one warming you up and that he doesn’t feel good about the thought of another dude seeing you like this (as in bare ass naked). He also notes that this is prolly the first time he’s ever felt like this in his life. You feel sleepy and fall asleep while Jin promises to keep you warm, saying that just having you in his arms is enough to warm him up ドキドキ((〃ﾟ艸ﾟ))ドキドキ
You wake up just in time for the stars in the sky to show up and your clothes are prolly dry. Jin also hands you some chocolates he bought from the convenience store bc he believes that you give chocos on Valentine’s Day to the ppl you care about. He confesses that you are the only one that he believes that he wants to cherish from the bottom of his heart (prolly as siblings considering he’s pretty dense, which is fine lol). You then break it to him that Valentine’s Day is only for guys and gals giving chocos to each other (in romantic context) but Jin still stands by with what he said about wanting to cherish you and that there’s no one else. He explains that once he found out he has an imouto-chan he decided to protect her with his life and that this choco is proof of his devotion…. boy, you’re killing me here. You decide to share the choco with him in the end lol, you try to feed a piece to him but he’s like “I’m not a kid” but then decides to take you on your offer (I want to guess you used the ol’ “puppy dog eyes” trick to change his mind haha). Despite it being convenience store chocolate he praises it for being the no.1 sweetest and delicious choco. You better not be lying to me, Jin 😆
The track ends with the both of you experiencing the night sky together.
Shouma is the genki oniichan. He’s a bit childish and optimistic and what’s not to love? He has an assortment of part time jobs ranging from a life saver in summer to an amusement park costume wearing mascot character. He loves swimming and whenever he sees water he gets so hyped up to the point that he would jump in. So basically he’s a dog trapped in a man’s body.
Track 4 is dedicated to him, and the track title could be translated as “The Prince and his Fish Friends”.
Before we start, I’d like to comment on his voice actor. For those who play A3!, you might recognise him as Banri Settsu’s voice actor. In this CD his voice still has a bit of gruffiness like Banri does but with a bit of that genki/childish feel, though sometimes his voice as Shouma kinda reminds me of Nyanchuu (a pretty outlandish reference that most foreigners might not know, hell I’m not even sure why I know what Nyanchuu sounds like I just happened on a video of Wataru Hatano doing his best impression of Nyanchuu and that’s how I came to know it). If you want to see Nyanchuu in a video that isn’t from the 90’s early 00’s or whatever year it was, here’s one where Nyanchuu appeared in 2013 (its a whole educational episode so just try and find this cat/mouse looking puppet). Or you can watch this nico douga video where they spliced some audio bits to make Nyanchuu say shit like o-manko and tamago bukkake nattō lol. Anyway enough about Nyanchuu, even tho Shouma kinda sounds like Nyanchuu to me. Ya kinda get used to his voice anyway.
The track starts with Shouma running late to meet you for your ‘date’–apparently he was thinking about going together with you that he couldn’t get much sleep the other night that he slept in and was late lol. You both manage to get a ticket to an observatory, prolly at Tokyo Tower where the place is busy with couples for Valentine’s Day. Seeing that they have some time left until their time in the observatory starts, Shouma suggests on going to the Aquarium where he’ll introduce you to someone–or something.
Either he goes to the Aquarium a lot or prolly has a part time job there, seeing that he knows whether or not there’s new fish on display. He even yells at the glass at the different sea creatures going “Oi~ It’s me, Shouma~!” 😆 He wishes he could swim with the fish in the aquarium but settles on promising to go to the beach in summer with you to swim there. Finally he introduces you to the special someone he wanted you to meet, Pen Pen the penguin, no really the penguin is called Pen Pen. Shouma wanted Pen Pen to meet his imouto-chan seeing that Pen Pen is one of Shouma’s friends. Pen Pen apparently has a lil baby son penguin which makes Shouma want to pet its fluffy fur (would you call the fluff on a baby penguin fur? I dunno lol), so he settles on patting your hair/head seeing it looks just as fluffy/soft as a baby penguin. He compliments on how your hair smells nice bc of shampoo, going like “Well of course (you smell nice), you are a girl” boyo, are you implying you don’t use scented shampoo bc ur a dude 😆 This makes you blushu and get embarrassed even tho he’s supposed to be your oniichan. Seeing that it’s almost time for them to go to the observatory (or Tokyo Tower, whatever) y’all decide Aquarium time is over.
The two of you look out from the observatory/viewing platform that’s high up (I’m just gonna imagine its the observation place in Tokyo Tower) where you and Shouma try to find each other’s houses until a kid grabs onto Shouma’s leg thinking he’s his dad. The kid seems to be lost and starts crying so Shouma does the right thing and help him find his parents while the kid rides on top of his shoulders aw. Even though he seems like a big kid most of the time, he still has some mature qualities to him.
Minutes later as they search for the kid’s parents, Shouma comments on how they kinda look like a young couple with the kid. He kinda gets embarrassed by the thought of it but seems a bit happy (would be cute but I’m still not getting this oniichan-imouto relationship lol). Eventually they find the parents who were desperately looking for their kid, after handing over the kid you give him chocolates seeing that it’s Valentine’s Day. He gets really emotional at the thought of you making chocolates for him that it almost seems like he’s about to cry aw. He tries to think of a way to repay you for it, so he uses his skills he learnt when he was a part timer at a theme park and preformed as a prince and gets down on one knee, takes your hand and kisses the back of your hand (*´∀`*)ｷｭﾝ! He says the choco will be his life’s treasure and wishes that you could be his princess forever so he can be your only prince. It’s pretty sweet when the last few minutes he’s less excited and more calm and soft spoken, that’s a good gap moe.
Almost most of the tracks in this CD was pretty innocent (especially Shouma’s seeing he is the pure one here, maybe Jin too, Haru is a bit questionable) except for Ren’s who went way past the boundaries of being an oniichan lol. Even though I do love the characters the part about how they’re related really gets me so ??? like are they blood related or adopted or what? Like if it’s one of those things where you volunteer as a big brother to a kid then I can understand but still the romance parts is a bit questionable when it comes to their relationship 😂 I guess it’s just a selling point seeing that ppl sure love their oniichan type characters.
Anyway, I’m not saying I didn’t enjoy it. It was nice for the most part and I got to hear Makoto Furukawa more as well as hear Chiharu Sawashiro do his best impression of Nyanchuu (ok I’ll lay off that reference for now). I’ve gotten to sorta like Haru seeing that before I wasn’t interested, he’s got the makings of a closet yandere. Speaking of yandere oniichans, one of my other favorites (stalker yandere oniichan, i like him bc he’s so ridiculous) is in Vol.2 but I haven’t bought it yet… I wonder if it’s still in-stock somewhere.
I really hope they get onto making other things for Oniichannel, maybe more drama CDs or even a mobile app or something. Don’t want to let those character designs and voice talent go to waste. I’m sure there a lots of people out there willing to give money for some oniichan stuff considering most popularity polls for otome games has the oniichan character as No.1 or in the top 3 😆 I dunno if it’s a Japan thing or not, but ppl sure love their oniichans.
As always thanks for reading! Ah, I almost forgot about the 4koma that was included in the CD jacket:
Just a little run down on the 4komas for those who can’t read Japanese. The first 4koma is the day before Valentine’s Day and almost everyone is getting hyped for it (except for Ren who has no interested and Jin who has no idea whats going on). Second 4koma is the oniichans wondering if imouto-chan will give them choco and Jin is like “if you want chocolate that much I’ll make it from scratch” while holding a cacao bean lmao. He gets rejected and imouto-chan delivers the goods.